On a Hiatus? Maybe Goodbye?

These past few years I found I have less and less to say and share here.  As my children have gotten older I've become increasingly more busy in their education and volunteering my time in their school, giving me less time to write (only one small reason). I'm not completely sure if I'm ready to say goodbye and this is not the first time I've written a similar statement.  I've taken breaks and that has always helped, renewing my energy, and as time went on, given me more things to talk about.

I wonder sometimes that because my blog has no "theme", it's not a cooking blog, or a sewing blog, a blog about mothering or mindfulness, it's a blog where I talked about my kids and some of the things I like to do.  I'm not an expert on any subject.  I have passions in so many areas and they often fluctuate. I might go a whole year without sewing a thing, or baking a loaf of bread; even though I love both of those things.  Maybe that is why?  If I had a "theme" one great passion, I'd have plenty to share?  I don't know.

As the kids get older I'm lacking in cute pictures they've drawn to show you, or to share the funny things they say, or talk about their antics.  Sure all those things are still happening but honestly, I don't feel like writing about it.  They go to school, they do their homework, they do their chores, attend gymnastics and lacrosse.  We go to church they have Sunday school.  It's just a normal every day life and I wonder what more can I say about it?

Lastly, there is a lot of pressure and guilt.  I know this is my own problem.  No one makes me feel this way, but I do.  Everyday I think "Should I blog today?"  "What about?" "I haven't blogged in a long time." "I better think of something to write about!"  I don't want to feel that way any more.  Sure I could just blog when I feel like it, and I might do that, or maybe I'll take a long break and get re-energized, or maybe it's time to say goodbye? Right now all I know is I have to let it go for now.  

Those of you who have been faithful readers these past years, thank you.  I've enjoyed all your comments and have made friends both near and far along the way.  I've also learned a lot from each of you.   I will still be reading your blogs of course!  I'd miss you all too much if I didn't, but for now, goodbye.....

Being A Mom

is sometimes the hardest thing to be in the world.  Everyday your life and love revolves around those little buggers.  

When they are hurt or are ill, the pain can be more then you can take.  The fear of it being "bad" intensifies.  

Today my C is fine but not after much fear when he complained about pain in his side, and chest pains after running.  

What is a mother to think when her child tells her his chest hurts after he runs? That his side hurts under his rib cage?  When you watch him pressing and pushing up under his ribs when he knows you're not watching?

The worst, right?  Or is it just me?

We saw the Dr. this morning and he is wheezing and has asthma (which he had before but we thought he had outgrown, even the Dr. thought so).  He is also full of gas and poop.  I'm sure he'll be so happy I told you that!

I know asthma is no picnic but it sure does feel like a relief when your thoughts go to very bad places, such as a problem with his heart or appendix or cancer!

After we left the office I seriously could have done a dance I was so happy it wasn't serious.  

Starting tomorrow two puffs of his inhaler before school, and well, I must keep a watchful eye on his, ahem, "movements".

Poor kid, he's going to hate me someday if he ever reads this........

But he sure is cute!

Will he forgive me because I love him and think he is so cute???????

To My Mom

From your beautiful grandkids!

Oh! And Grumpy Cat says Happy Birthday too.

Breakfast

Progress

The studs are gone

The plumbing rerouted

Completely open

What a difference.  

It's so spacious now and I can not wait for it to be finished!

And the Walls Come Tumbling Down

When we first moved into our current home we were thrilled with the size of the house, it was perfect for our growing family of four, soon to be five (I was 7 months pregnant when we moved in). As we began settling in I noticed how enclosed everything felt.  We have a center hall colonial and and the rooms are all "boxed up", not sure how else to describe it.  There is no "Open Concept" here!  Since 2006 I've been thinking and dreaming and scheming of ways to open things up.  

May I please introduce you to the first wall that is coming down!

View from the kitchen into the family room.

(my table does not have a bunch of chunks taken out of it, it's a cheap cover to protect a very nice table, too cheap of a cover I might add! Oh and please ignore the laundry basket in the background)

View from the Family room into the kitchen.

Construction begins

Already it feels so open and big.  

I can't wait for it all to be done!

A Sorrowful Day

Last night my friend's mom passed away.  

Today I've been sitting in silence doing quiet work and thinking of her.  My sorrow is much deeper than I anticipated.  I have know my friend and her mom since 1978, and although we were once close, we have drifted apart these last 7 years or so.  I didn't think it would hurt as much as it does.  

Mary was too young to die.  

She died from cancer that consumed her body.  

She didn't deserve that.  

So today in her honor I will sit quietly and send thoughts and prayers their way.  Especially to my friend whose heart I know is broken. Who I know loved her mother with all her being.  Who I know is in a very dark place right now.  

At times such as these I wish there was something I could do.  I want to go to her house and hug her but I want to give her her space.  I want to call but what can I say that will make any difference?

I once took a mediation class and the instructor taught us a meditation in which you imagine all your love in your heart, and you hold it there and let it build.  When you're ready you send it, you imagine it with your minds eye traveling right to that person and entering their heart.  

I haven't done this meditation in many years.  Today I will be sending all my love straight to Crissy.  Maybe, just maybe she'll know I'm here.  

The Garden

Remember this post and my major disappointment?  Well I am happy to tell you that my little garden did quite well.  Not as well as I was hoping for, but well non the less.  

The garden in July

The garden today!

What I found out there this morning. 

It's not the baskets full of veggies many bloggers I read are getting from their gardens, but hey, at least I'm getting something.  Right?

I have gotten so much squash! I give one or two away every time I see a friend.  More squash than I can eat, and sadly I'm the only one eating it.  Great big handfuls of cheery tomatoes, a few hot peppers (which are not hot at all) and a little surprise!  I planted a Black Beauty Eggplant and as it began to grow said eggplant was white.  I kept going out there waiting for it to turn that purplish color and every morning it's still white. I pulled out the tag the plant came with and sure it enough it said Black Beauty.  Hmmm? I did a little research and come to find out I have white eggplants not purple.  I'm guessing someone put the wrong tag on this plant.  So far I have 3 good sized eggplant.  I haven't tried them yet.  

A little trivia for you: (I did not know this)

"Eggplants got their name because eggplants used to come in only one color - white. Hanging from the plant, they looked like eggs."

The hops are doing great too and they are going to make some delicious beer!

As we come to the end of the season, I feel a bit sad about it all ending.  I don't have the patience to wait for the spring to start again so I decided to try some fall crops.  Taking it a bit slow because this is the first time I will be planting in the fall.  I've ordered kale and garlic (and I may get more).  I'm looking forward to seeing how it turns out.

Do you plant fall crops?  What has been successful for you?

First Day

First day of Middle School

First Grade

Fifth Grade

Another school year has begun.  After all three left this morning I got that "I'm all alone pit in my stomach" every year the same thing.  It's a strange feeling when you are with them 24 hours a day, seven days a week and then BAM! they are gone all day.  I know in a day or two it will feel normal and I'll start enjoying the time I have to get things done, especially grocery shopping.  I really do not like grocery shopping with the kids.  Honestly, I don't like shopping for anything with them.  We always spend more and they WANT EVERYTHING.  So getting errands done kid free will be nice too.

I am also planning to volunteer again this year and do some "spring" cleaning, which I started today-J's room.  I did a major cleaning, organizing, and planning for some new things in his room.  I also bought him a shoe organizer for his closet and put it together myself!  Let me just tell you, that is major!  I never put "things" together especially furniture.  That's what my husband is for!  But I did it and you know what, it may be silly, but I am super proud of that!  I also took down curtain rods that have been curtain free in his room for years because I bought these shades that I like as the window "treatment".  Proud of that too! What a great feeling and keeping busy helps with that icky feeling.

Tomorrow - Shopping for a rug for his room!

First Egg

One of the hens laid her first egg on Saturday!  It's an itty bitty egg.  Its super cute!  Each of the kids had to hold it and C wants to keep it forever and even suggested that we each keep one egg "forever"! 

After explaining that we would be eating the eggs, he let the idea go.  Phew!

We still have not eaten it.  Our weekend was busy with one kid here and the other there, we didn't have the opportunity to all be here together long enough to cook this thing up and take a bite!  

Being tomorrow is the first day of school ( no more late nights and out with friends ), we plan to scramble it up tonight and each take a bite.  Its so tiny, one bite each is all we'll get I'm guessing.

First Egg

The Girls

These girls of ours are just about 20 weeks old.  (in these pictures, I'm guessing they are about 16 weeks?). 

Each day I eagerly go to the coop looking for eggs, nothing yet.  

Soon I hope.

Left to right; a Speckled Sussex who could be either Butter, Chirps, or Auntie Audrey? (Sadly we have no idea who's who when it comes to the Speckled Sussex's because the three look exactly the same!) Center is Jean Tracy, and right is Fredrick.  The Ameraucanas are much more easily distinguishable from their many different colored plumage.  Is it called plumage for chickens?  

Running away from one of my children.

Curious

Jean Tracy and one of those other three???

Who will win this battle you ask?  

The speckled Sussex. Beaker seams to be on the tail end of the pecking order.

They truly are an entertaining bunch.  

Is it weird that I love their fluffy butts???? 

Jackson Falls

Not sure how I forgot to mention our two trips to Jackson Falls!

It's Alive

my computer that is.  Last week The Husband was able to install the new hard drive and update all the systems etc.  It looks like I lost very few pictures.  I'm thinking they can't be that important because I cant remember what's missing.  Not knowing is both a relief and disheartening, because what if they are important and my old brain just doesn't remember????  Either way there is nothing that can be done so I must move on, yes?

I was itching to post immediately but we left the very next morning for New Hampshire!

We had a lovely week.  Before I begin, I must say how much I love New England.  I especially am enamored with New Hampshire, Vermont, and Maine.  Sometimes I think it's weird that I would rather go to the woods than to Disney (sorry Jean!).  The woods, that is home to me.  I can remember walking in the woods as a child and being right at home, reading the Little House books and becoming Laura only to live on her farm and wash in the stream. (she did live in the big woods before the prairie) Yeah, yeah, yeah, there were some really hard times in those days, but oh the beauty and simplicity of it all. If I had a millions of dollars I'd by a farm, near the woods, some where in these states, any would be fine with me, but alas, for now I can only visit and hold on to the beauty of it.

We left Monday morning and arrived in Jackson NH around 3:00pm. We settled into our Hotel(condo), explored the grounds which has a little waterfall, stream, hiking trails, pools,  and a fire pit where you can roast marshmallows every night at 7:00pm, we went to the grocery store to stock up on food, and then out to dinner.  

Tuesday we went to Story Time in the pouring rain.  We bought sweatshirts and ponchos and went for it.  We had a blast and because it was raining we didn't have to wait in any lines.  We went on rides over and over again.  Just got right back on after the ride was done.  The kids loved it!  We did the water rides over and over too because, hey, why not we were already soaked from the rain.  Back to the condo to dry off and warm up.  We freshened up and then out to dinner.

Wednesday we went to Santa's Village.  A beautiful day but a little chilly, thank goodness for those sweatshirts we bought at Story Land!  

Thursday we took the Auto Road to the summit of MT Washington.  Now I was happy.  I loved and enjoyed the parks but the White Mountains and MT Washington, swoon......

At the summit 6288 feet it was :

As we exited the car into the clouds, we were struck by winds sooo cold, oh my!  The entire time we were on the summit we were in the clouds, so there was nothing to see but mist on the observation deck.  They do have a little museum, shops, cafe etc. which we visited.  Such history!  As we were leaving we walked by quite a few hikers.  Some had just arrived and were removing their wet clothes. Oh my goodness, I have never smelled anything so bad.  J said "Daddy did you smell how bad those hikers smelled??"  Oh yes we did!  

We made our way back down the mountain and took some more pictures.  We visited another museum across the street.  We went to lunch and back to the pool for the afternoon.  After dinner we did some packing to make our way back home Friday morning.

I'm already itching to go again!  Next time a few extra days so we can hike in The White Mountains.  (With the proper gear, lacking this time around)

I am in Love With

Instagram!

Since I won't be able to do the posts I'd like to do here for the next few weeks or so, I thought you might like to follow me on Instagram?  This way you can have a little peek into the things we've been doing around here.  Once I get my laptop back I'll put an Instagram button on the sidebar (if I can figure out how!)

I'm not even sure how to get you a link to follow me?  However I do know that is you type in Shelleyannep I'll be there.

Hope to see you there!

Final Update on My Computer Woes

(image source)

My dear blog readers, 

I will be out of blogging commission for the next three weeks or so.  Our desktop is slow as molasses.  I cant remember how to upload pictures and to where on this stupid *%#$& computer.  So I'll have to wait until my IT guy a.k.a The Husband can fix my laptop.  He is extremely busy at this time with work and some travelling too.  I'm beginning to wonder if this is a sign from the computer Gods to give up? Sigh.........

Computer:: The Good and The Bad

My goodness I have been gone from this space for quite some time now.  As you may recall, my laptop was knocked to the floor(still seething... ). After that, it stopped working. The Husband had a feeling it was bad.  After taking it to the Apple store our worst fears came true.  It's the hard drive and everything on it is gone.   We asked if there was anything they could do to save the pictures?  We were told there was nothing they could do, however there are companies out there that will do it for a hefty price tag.  My pictures are precious to me, but not thousands of dollars precious!  

The good news is, we do do back ups at least once a month on an external hard drive, on occasions I take some time to up-load pictures to Shutterfly, and some are here on the blog as well.  Thankfully when school ended I had uploaded tons of pictures to Shutterfly. We did some guessing as to the last time we did a back-up and we think, maybe, I didn't lose as many as I think. Oh I truly hope not! 

So for now, I will be using my ipad and our very, very, very, very, oh sorry, very slow desktop to blog while I wait for my new hard drive.  

I have so much to share!

P.S.  Today we drove home from Maine and I took two Dramamine.  If this post is disjointed and terribly written, it's because I can barely keep my eyes open.  Probably should have waited till tomorrow to give you an update!  

Computer Troubles

Hello friends!

It will be awhile before I can post.  My laptop was accidentally kicked off a table.  Yup, kicked.  I'd rather not discuss it at this time, because although it was an accident,  I am very angry and upset about it.  If the good people at Apple can not fix my computer, I may lose all the photos and everything else I have saved on there.  Of course some of it is no big deal but the thought of losing my pictures makes my heart ache.  I'm hopeful it will be able to be restored.  Please wish me luck.

Shelley :(

Making Forts ✓

On one of the many raining, cloudy, dreary days we had around here in the last month or so, the kids made this awesome fort.  It was quite large inside and even Kiki joined in on the fun.  She loves a cozy blanket!

One more checked off the list